I have never been good at keeping a diary because I always have convinced myself that I had nothing particularly interesting to say. And that is always what I've wanted more than anything, was to be interesting, if not extraordinarily interesting. I want to slay a dragon or save a princess. I want to solve a murder or have a secret love affair, or at least live in a castle and wear ball gowns to tea.
But, unfortunately, I was born on a planet with no dragons, past the age of princesses, swept into the monotonous life of eat, school, sleep, repeat. I am left only with the the option of living vicariously through the absurd amount of books I read to get my fill of wonder and scandal.
I have also never had many friends, one or two at a time, never enough to have a group, never enough to belong somewhere. I listen to music as often as I can to stave away my hunger, my yearning for something more. I envy the people who can get through high school, and then college, and then a desk job. A husband, some children, maybe a white picket fence and an over-involved HOA. How can they not suffocate? How can this be the future I am supposed to look forward to?
So, I have decided to be interesting. Against all odds, and against the government made path laid before me, as I lay here writing this on my suburban floor, listening to Passion Pit. I just did a Tarot reading that said there will be hard work and struggle ahead. At first I was disheartened. I work so hard as it is. I didn't think that I could take any more. But maybe that means I will be coming into my interesting-ness. Every character struggles before their power is unleashed, before their destiny is revealed.
I just hope that I'm getting close. I don't know how much longer I can wait.
You can really write! I loved reading this.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I think that unleashing your interesting is about your personality, your hobbies, nd making experiences instead of waiting for them. Hope you find your interesting soon :)